TOXIC FAMILY..PART 2

Okay. Christmas is coming closer. You're dreading going to the relatives house for the Holidays. What to do? Well..It's not easy to completely walk away from a "toxic family" but sometimes you have to do what's best for you Not others. Unfortunately, I am still "linked" to mine through mail because of my son. Ironically, I do not hear from them all year except on my son's birthday and Christmas. He gets the normal cards with cash or a gift card. This year they gave him an obscene amount of money for a teenager for his birthday and Christmas which are a couple of weeks apart. Now I haven't gotten a Birthday card from them in almost 4 years, I am not complaining but it goes to show a person just how much "love" there is. The one year they sent him a card with an age on it, unfortunately it wasn't even the right age. My suggestion to people with toxic families should take a sabatical for 60 days. That will give them time to reacess the situation and give you time for a plan of action. It will also give you an idea the level of toxicity. I did that myself it was actually 90 days. Sometimes we have to step out of ourselves in order to see the whole picture of the problem. It gives us a new perspective. I also kept a journal of our conversations, phone calls, mail etc. I even mentioned how many time I tried to speak up for myself and tried to divert the conversation. My mother's response was I should really talk to my father. He apparently was still bitter over an incident that happened when I was 18. I have apologized over and over again explaining my reasoning. Out of my whole life she only had that "one incident" to condemn me with, my reply was about the "list" of things that "hurt" me. The one that gets her the most was when I was told to get an abortion or move out because she didn't like my ex husband. The grandchild they "adore" so much, which they wouldn't even have if I had listened. When they realized I didn't comply they threw me out pregnant at 6 months. That's there way of thinking..go figure..SO take the time to think about your situation and weigh out the pros and cons. If the family relationship is that toxic you really have to think about a way to deal with it or work around it. I will tell you this from what I have learned is that toxic families never ever get better only worse..Merry Christmas and Good Luck.